In times past, I would have gone out of my way to “make” an individual fit my idea of his/her personality. That is, whatever I believed about the person would be who he/she was, regardless his/her actions that completely refuted my idea/image of the person.
Now, nearing the point of mid-forty in my life (thank you, Lord), I have truly accepted the fact that people are WHO they are. I have learned to accept individuals as they are, who they are, and for whatever purpose they are to play in my life. Now, this does not mean that I AGREE with what the person represents and how the person presents him/herself. Nonetheless, each of us is who/what we are.
Some will only go so far with you along the path of your life. As a result, there is no need attempting to hold on to someone who is not meant to accompany you within the next scenes of your life’s stage performance. Such attempts will prove futile and painful.
Others will seemingly repeat the same patterns within their lives–constantly being tripped up by the same demons, the same situations, the same outcomes. Nevertheless, they are not be judged; they are to be accepted for the characters they represent. Just know that attempts to “save” them may prove futile and/or painful. I have learned to pray through my inclinations to “help” someone, allowing the Holy Spirit to guide me in terms of what the “help” looks like and to what extent I am to offer services/resources. Honestly, I am oftentimes in more need of “help” and being “saved” than the other person.
Even more of us, I believe, fail to realize who we ourselves are or are to become as we observe others. What am I saying? I am saying that there is so much knowledge to gain, which can evolve into WISDOM, based on simple observation–vicarious learning. Specifically, some of the pitfalls by which I have observed others being ensnared reinforce my desire to avoid such pitfalls and to even consider consciously my steps along the way so as to not walk similarly to the one who succumbed to the pitfall.
I am also reminded constantly of all the aforementioned through the characters who are in denial of who they are and what they are. You know, it’s one thing to speak in faith concerning a situation; it’s another thing altogether to exist in denial of your apparent/obvious situation. But for even this person–the one who denies his/her drug addiction, the one who never addresses the issue of his/her abusive upbringing directly, the one who speaks “Biblical language” and loves to join the prayer group but swears, fornicates, manipulates, and even masturbates when others are not present–we have to simply accept the role of the person (whether we agree with him/her or not).
Politician. Preacher. Teacher. Principal. Accountant. Police Officer. Attorney. Judge. Each of these, when we hear the titles, creates an image within our minds. The image, however, is based on the title, not the person holding the title. As a result, the Politician may very well be a sincere man or woman of God with a humble heart and motives rooted deeply within the Word of God. The Preacher, on the other hand, may be an adulterer and an emotional abuser who is only a “preacher” by title with an agenda centered around personal gain through a myriad of unscrupulous opportunities.
People are simply who and what they are; we must be honest with ourselves about what is presented to us and what we present to others.
Someone once said to me: “When a person tells you who they are, believe them.” I get it!
Now, does this mean that we are not to challenge these personalities, especially when they are in direct opposition to the Godly paths we are to walk? There has to be a challenge; there must be a challenge. God prepares us for the challenge.