So many times I desire to just throw in the towel and say “To hell with it.” It’s tiring attempting to remain focused, positive, sincere, supportive, upbeat, and loving–especially when it seems that you’re always giving and hardly ever receiving the benefits of these.
Often I am prompted to speak life and encouragement into other people. Yet, it seems I have very few to speak the same into me. It’s tiring when so many pull on you, dump on you their troubles and woes and yet do not have the capacity–seemingly–to lift in prayer the one on whom they dumped all this stuff.
From one day to the next, I am given more grace to do it all again. How well? Well, only God knows, but I try to be diligent and consistent.
So often things I desire and envision–thinking that I have somewhat of a grasp on what God is doing in my life–just don’t turn out as I thought. Yet, I am still required to be focused, positive, sincere, supportive, upbeat, understanding, and loving for all others around me. I’ve become tired, as I do often.
I sigh loudly hoping that the release of a breath or two will relieve me of some pressure. It rarely works.
I ask the Lord to help me, to guide me, to strengthen me, to encourage me, to give me a sense that I am on the right path. And He does…all the time. But sometimes I need a bit more encouragement, strength, guidance, and assurance from Him than on previous days.
Each time I’ve desired giving up, He gives something more to remind me that I can make it. However, right now, I’m simply tired.
So, Lord, I ask–as I do so often–that you give me grace to receive more of you so that I complete my course satisfactorily. Please wipe my heart’s tears and calm my internal fears. Continue to restore the lost and hidden years. Protect and save my children, my little dears. And always keep your ear near and also equip me to hear your voice, for you are my choice and I know I am yours. In Jesus’ name. Amen.