There was no trepidation within my spirit nor was there any true anger as Jezebel approached. What came over me was a sense of “righteous indignation” and peace all at once. This brother stood directly across the table from me. I looked him in the eye, seeing beyond his pupils and into the spirit that plagued him. He continued to present his loud exhortations that I was passive-aggressive and rude. The Holy Spirit had immediately given me instructions to remain QUIET. I was not to comment one way or the other in response to this guy’s (spirit’s) proclamations.
As I continued to look him in the eye, I heard these words in my spirit: accuser of the brethren, projection, pride, hurt, anger, bitterness, REJECTION. At that point, I knew for sure the Lord was confirming the identity of the spirit I was facing, for at the root of Jezebel’s performances are all these things–particularly because of the rejection she endured at some point in her life due to or after a physically and/or emotionally hurtful event she experienced. For a quick moment, I felt compassion that nearly gave way to anger. I knew I needed private time with the Lord.
This brother was silenced by the person in charge of our dormitory. He walked away attempting to solicit support. After a few minutes of remaining inside, he went outside to the attempt gaining the support of another individual. At this point, the enemy of my mind was attempting to whisper to me and rile me, but greater is He that is within me than he that is in the world (I John 4:4).
After he went outside, I, too, went out. However, the Lord would not allow me to get close to him. Instead, the dorm manager had “conveniently” walked out just as I was about to turn toward this brother (spirit). I knew the Lord was telling me “No.” In conversation with the Lord at that moment, I repented for allowing the enemy to speak to me at all concerning the situation. Likewise, I asked the Lord’s spirit to show me how to respond to this matter and what to pray on behalf of this brother and myself.
The Lord brought to my rememberance a conversation this brother and I had a few weeks prior while riding the train after church one Sunday. This brother has indeed suffered some emotional attacks in the form of rejection through family members. He often attempts to be noticed and heard. After being reminded of this, I realized his actions were in response to the attack he’s facing. Compassion kicked in hard, and I got in the shower and prayed prayers to the Father that could only come from the Father’s heart to my own; I prayed this brother’s HEALING, DELIVERANCE, PEACE, and his VICTORY in Jesus’ name. I prayed for him like I would for myself. In other words, I spoke to the pain of his past; I asked for forgiveness of those whom he saw as the source of his hurt; I bound the enemy spirit and loosed the power, peace, and presence of the HOLY SPIRIT…I mean I PRAYED!!
Before closing this prayer to the Lord, I placed myself in the Father’s hands for examination. I asked Him to search my heart and asked Him to forgive me for possibly speaking out of term, being prideful, or–believe it or not–possibly reflecting the things of which the brother accused me–being rude and passive-aggressive. I humbled myself before the Lord because I know that my righteousness is like filthy rags.
After I prayed, I was able to sleep well, knowing I had released the matter into the most capable hands around–the Lord’s.
Here’s what I learned and/or re-learned after this experience.